It is clear this blog is taking a very specific turn: dating. This clearly has something to do with the fact I have recently taken up online dating (Going strong for 4 months now!) and have been developing relationships with various men over this time period.
Given this fact, and considering I am a student (with a lot of time), I like to date around. I am selective, not just anybody can clear the introductory ‘Hi’ message and make it to actual conversation. And I do have a process to choosing who I will respond to. This begins with their profile stats (your occupation says street pharmacist? gonna have to pass), checks some pictures to see what type of personality I’m dealing with, and look over their interests.
However, as of late, I’ve been getting a different type of message. Instead of the ‘Hi’, ‘What’s up’ or some variation of American greetings, I have been receiving this phrase so elegantly mentioned in my title : Do you date (Various Race) guys? The first couple of times, I understood this to be a reflection of perhaps their past dating experiences and the American understanding of relationships. People, maybe even only black people, do not date outside of their race. And yes, I know race is an illusion and blah blah blah, but for the record, I did not think this would be the one issue I encountered as a dating adult.
I will admit to never dating anyone non-black until recently but this was not by choice. Non-black men had never really responded to my advances in a way that assured me of mutual interest. I had friends, acquaintances, fellow frat members, drink buddies, t.v. friends…everything but dating. So now I’m faced with these questions about dating non-black guys. My response is generally something about liking all people until they prove otherwise, which can be taken any way they like I suppose. I’m honestly not sure whether I am disturbed by their comments or just sad. One would assume in this day and age dating someone who is not part of your ‘race’ would be acceptable, or at the very least, normal. I will be waiting for that norm. The day when no one asks me if I date black guys or white guys or purple guys. Hopefully they will ask about my interests, whether or not I can see without my glasses, and maybe, just maybe, we could say a little more than hello.