Holy swimmer’s ear! I was so caught up in the creation of my blog and life in general that I forgot to do the post about the Olympics! Apparently everyone has to share their opinion on the festivities thus far and even my small, feeble excuse for a blog is not pardoned this honor.

I’ll start by being both honest and sincere: I love the Olympics. Yes, the music is corny and that opening ceremony with the dirty Englishmen promoting pollution (I’m assuming that’s what it was doing) and Kenneth Branagh speaking in language from this century for once was confusing to everyone but England. However, these games always remind me of the power of nationalism, the true nature of competitive sport and the fact that I have wasted my life as a 24 year old student when I should have won at least 19 gold medals by now. So thanks for that, Olympics.

Some rights reserved by beth.rand via Flickr

We fucking get it we’re lazy assholes and you started training at 5.

Another thing I noticed is the insane scheduling. According to my supreme overlord, Comcast Broadband Xfinity Monopoly III, I have 4 separate channels for Olympic coverage, all in HD. So finding one event is basically performing a search via card catalog. I have to assume some stuff based on the event popularity, dodge multiple announcer segment interrupts with Ryan Seacrest and other people paid too much to talk for a living, and try to guess the sex of those involved either by the appearance of an Adam’s apple or a bulge in their spanx. All in all, I have seen one actual event I wanted to see (I’m a huuuge fan of the beach volleyball team Treanor and Walsh) and that was on mistake. I just happened to be surfing my 30088903 channels and they popped up in their ill-fitting uniforms battling some Austrian sisters I had never heard of before today.

So no, I can’t offer any coverage or summaries or anything. I can say I still love the Olympics (no matter what Comcast may think) and hope (I mean that’s what all this stuff is based on) I can catch the other events I actually give a damn about: the 100 m dash, the finals of beach volleyball and the women’s gymnastics all-around.

If not, I will have another wonderful post waiting in the wings to fully capture my bitchy anger towards programming today. Or I might just watch it online. To be continued….


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